INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

 

                    FELTON
          I stopped selling them. I was also
          fired from it. The only job I got
          now is that catering gig. I like
          it, it pays good money. I get to
          meet nice people.

 

                    ARTURO
          I wish I had your luck. How did you
          get fired?

 

                    FELTON
          I was demonstrating a knife that I
          invented. Remember that day in
          woodshop class?

 

BEGIN FLASHBACK SEQUENCE:

 

INT. WOODSHOP CLASS - DAY

 

Felton and Jorge prepare to cut a large piece of
expensive-looking wood on a band saw.

 

Arturo coats a bread basket he made with varnish.

 

The teacher, MR. HACKMAN, a tall and slender man in his 50s
and looks like the characters from the 1950s, limps over to

 

Felton and Jorge.

 

                    MR. HACKMAN
          Now, George, don’t plan on cross
          cutting that wood on the band saw.

          That wood’s expensive and it’s hard
          to come by with our school’s
          budget. Use the Miter saw instead.
          I don’t want you ruining it.

          Anyway, the band saw isn’t working
          that well. I think Arturo spilled
          some varnish in it the other day.

 

Arturo looks at Mr. Hackman confused.

 

                    ARTURO
          Heeey...

 

Mr. Hackman doesn’t turn to Arturo, but puts up a finger at
his direction.

 

                                                                2.

 

                    MR. HACKMAN
          Hap-hap! Not now, Arturo. Back to
          varnishing.

 

Arturo looks down, defeated and continues his varnishing his
warped bread basket.

 

                    MR. HACKMAN
          Now, Jorge, DO NOT use the crosscut
          saw. Okay?

 

                    JORGE
          Yes, Mr. Hackman.

 

Mr. Hackman limps off to his desk to grade some papers.

 

                    JORGE
          Hey, Felton, let’s go to the band
          saw instead. We’ll finish quicker.

 

                    FELTON
          But you heard Mr. Hackman.

 

                    JORGE
          I know what he said. Let’s just do
          it quick.

 

                    FELTON
          But, it’s filled with varnish?

 

                    JORGE
          Plah! That’s hogwash. Arturo isn’t
          that stupid as to spill varnish on
          the band saw.

 

Arturo over hears the conversation and turns to them.

 

                    ARTURO
          Um... nah, forget it.

 

He shakes his head and turns back to varnishing his screwed
up bread basket.

 

Jorge and Felton take the wood to the band saw.

 

                    JORGE
          Okay, remember that we need to do
          this slowly and quietly. Grab that
          side of the wood and DON’T let go
          for any reason. The wood can break
          apart.

 

                                                               3.

 

                    FELTON
          Okay.

 

Felton grabs the other side of the wood.

 

Jorge turns the band saw machine ON and begins to saw the
wood.

 

Jorge slowly eases the wood through. So far so good as the
saw makes its way across with the help of Felton grabbing
the other end.

 

Felton at times looks past Jorge, who’s concentrated, at Mr.
Hackman, who’s back is turned to them.

 

                    JORGE
          That’s right, Jorge, you’re doing
          good. Very good! Now, make sure you
          keep talking to me for
          concentration and don’t break it.

 

                    FELTON
          Jorge! I don’t know about this.

 

                    JORGE
          Wh-what?

 

Jorge looks up at Felton who looks over to Mr. Hackman.

 

Jorge turns around to see.

 

                    JORGE
          Jorge, CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT!

 

Jorge turns back.

 

                    JORGE

          That’s right, no turning back.

 

The wood is almost completely sawed off when at the end, the
wood separates quickly and flies apart scattering into
different places.

 

A piece of wood strikes Felton on the head, another piece of
wood flies and heads for Mr. Hackman’s desk.

 

The wood lands right next to him.

 

                    MR. HACKMAN
          GEEOOORRGE!

 

                    JORGE
          Oooh, Shiiit!

 

Felton and Jorge turn to each other with wide eyes.

 

                                                               4.

 

FLASHBACK ENDS:

 

INT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON

 

                    FELTON

          If that piece of wood hadn’t have
          hit me, I wouldn’t have created
          that knife that’s a top seller.

 

                    ARTURO
          But how did you get fired? You
          didn’t answer my question.

 

                    FELTON
          Oh! I accidentally cut a piece of
          old rope.

 

                    ARTURO
          And they fired you because of that?
          That’s not very logical. You sure
          that’s why?

 

                    FELTON
          Well...

 

SECOND FLASHBACK BEGINS:

 

INT. HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM - DAY

 

Felton, wearing a sweater over a dress shirt and khaki dress
pants, stands beside a kitchen knife set on a table.

 

He does his best salesman routine with a wide smile and
confident in his gestures.

 

He does this presentation in front of a middle-aged woman,
MRS. ARMITAGE, dressed in your stereo-typical house mother
garments, and her group of NEIGHBOR FRIENDS. Same equivelant
age.

 

                    FELTON
          ...and this knife set, Mrs.
          Armitage, promises to...NO!
          Guarantees, a lifetime of
          happiness. No more need to buy new
          knives. No more having to sharpen a
          dull blade, why? Because we at,
          SLICE-CO, take pride and trust our
          products. We’ve never had a
          dissatisfied customer since its
          inception.

 

                          

                                                              5.

 

Mrs. Armitage smiles wide. She looks over to her neighbor
friends.

 

All applaud or do their own acceptance gesture.
Felton smiles wider.

 

                    MRS. ARMITAGE
          How do we know the blade is sharp
          as you say it is?

 

                    FELTON
          Allow me to demonstrate.

 

Felton looks around the room. Notices a thick rope located
on the mantle of the fireplace in one long strand. A
certificate rests ride beside it.

 

The mantle also holds different assortments of picture
frames, a replica of the TITANIC and some old memorabilia
from years’ past.

 

Felton pulls out the largest kitchen knife in the set and
waltzes on over to the thick rop.

 

                    MRS. ARMITAGE
               (nervous laughter)
          What are you doing?

        

Felton reaches the mantle.

 

                    FELTON
          You see, we at SLICE-CO believe in
          our products so much, that with one
          slice from any of our knives will
          yield great results. No more double
          or triple cutting. No more
          squeezing your bread when slicing
          it. This knife here, slices
          anything solid object like butter.
          Take this rope for example...

 

Mrs. Armitage raises a hand to her heart. Some of the
neighbor friends have wide eyes open.

 

                    MRS. ARMITAGE
          Wait, what are you...

 

                    FELTON
          ...A precision cut. No fuss, no
          muss.

 

                                                               6.

 

Felton takes the rope and makes a loop with it in one hand.
Then places the knife below the loop, ready to slice
upwards.

 

                    MRS. ARMITAGE
          Hold on, wait?

 

                    FELTON
          Don’t worry, I’ll let you try on
          the next one.

 

Felton slices the rope in one smooth move. The rope becomes
two sets.

 

Mrs. Armitage practically faints over onto Neighbor Friend
3. One of her neighbor friend’s catches her on time. She
waves a hand over her face.

 

Felton isn’t quite aware of the situation.

 

                    FELTON
          Impressive, huh? Practically makes
          you faint over with amazement. And
          that’s what we here at CUT-CO...

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 1
          You idiot! Do you realize what you
          have just done?!

 

Felton looks at the cut rope in one hand and the knife in
the other. Still unaware.

 

                    FELTON
          I can demonstrate with a smaller
          knife.

 

Felton rushes over to the knife set and pulls out a smaller
knife.

 

                    FELTON
          Here, look.

 

Felton slices another portion of the rope with the small
knife. Easy breazy.

 

The neighbor friends scream out in unison.

 

Mrs. Armitage notices and YELPS even louder than before in a
most comical way imaginable.

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 2
          My Lord, Almighty! You cut the
          rope!

 

                                                               7.

 

                     FELTON

          What, this filthy old thing?

 

Mrs. Armitage screams out again. Neighbor Friend 3 retorts
while continuing to swat her hand up and down over Mrs.
Armitage’s face.

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 3
          It’s from the Titanic you FOOL!

 

Felton expresses a confused look.

 

                    FELTON
          The what?

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 3
          The Titanic! 1912?

 

                    FELTON
          I’m sorry, I wasn’t born in that
          time. We here at CUT-CO have
          Resistol. It stands for glue. No
          horses were harmed in the making of
          this SLICE-CO product. Allow me to
          demonstrate how quickly it bonds
          this rope back together.

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 1
          NO! What are you doing?

 

Felton takes out the glue from his pocket. It reads, in big
bold orange letters, RESISTOL!

 

He heads over to the replica Titanic, takes it off its
pedestal and notices the giant hole on the side.

 

                    FELTON
          I can repair this chunk of hole for
          you. Don’t know why it’s left like
          this.

 

He splatters the glue on the edges of the hole on the
replica.

 

The neighbor friends all yell in unison again. Louder this
time.

 

                    FELTON
          Where’s the missing chunk?

 

She splatters some more. The glue makes a FARTING sound.
Felton shakes the glue. He squeezes again. FART, FART,

FAAARRT!

 

                                                               8.

 

                    FELTON
          Must’ve run out. Where’s the piece
          of this broken thing?

 

Already, two neighbor friends have collapsed into the sofa.
Mrs. Armitage lays ontop of a fainted Neighbor Friend 3.

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 2
          My GOD, just LEAVE! You’ve ruined
          everything!

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 1
               (crying)

          Mrs. Armitage’s grand-mama was on
          that ship!

 

Mrs. Armitage slightly wakes up, notices the slop of glue
sliding off the hole of the Titanic in chunks.

 

She YELPS again with a hand to her forehead. Like dramatized
theatre style fainting.

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 2
          JUST GET OUT! GET OUT!

 

                    NEIGHBOR FRIEND 2
          You cruel, cruel man!

 

Felton sets the replica Titanic back on the pedestal, but
the glue bonds to his palm. When he pulls away, a part of
the front side goes with him and the other section stays on
the pedestal.

 

Felton sways his hand up and down trying to fling the piece
of ship from his palm.

 

The cacophony of screaming from the nieghbor friends erupt.

 

                    FELTON

          Man, this Resistol is some strong
           shi...

 

SECOND FLASHBACK ENDS.